It's almost silly season - and not just because an election has been called.
It's almost the time of year when (dare I say it) the papers will be filled with mindless pap - and that's during the election - every decent TV show will mysteriously take a holiday, and everyone else will start to think about doing the same thing.
And what better time is there to bugger off to a nice, relaxing location than in summer? Sure, you have to share said destinations with the thousands of people that have had the same idea, but picture it: sun, sand, palm trees, a hammock, possibly some sort of cocktail in a coconut ... What's not to like?
So here's a list of the best (and worst) places to head to during the warmer months (or colder, for our northern hemisphere-ite friends). Grab a beach towel and get ready.
As it will become clear from this list, I'm not a massive beach person. Maybe it's because I go a nice shade of lobster after 15 minutes in the sun. I don't know. But because of this, I like the summer destinations that offer a bit more than a decent patch of sand. A beach is nice, but there has to be something else to do once your back starts peeling off in sheets.
Koh Tao, Thailand
This is the famous Koh Phangan's quieter and infinitely more peaceful neighbour. While Koh Phangan is waving glowsticks around its head at a seedy bar at 3am, Koh Tao is getting its beauty sleep in preparation for an early-morning scuba dive. Nice beaches, cheap accommodation, and great diving.
Queenstown, NZ
Normally thought of as a winter destination, but bear with me here. For starters, it's one of the few places you can visit during the warmer months and avoid the hordes of tourists. Then, pretty much everything you can do in winter (bar skiing), you can do here in summer. Go jetboating on the Shotover River, go bungy jumping, walk around the lake, visit the wineries ... It's all good in summer.
Cape region, South Africa
Granted, lying on a beach at Camp's Bay with Table Mountain off in the distance, you won't feel like you're in the "real" Africa. And you're not, really. But with exchange rates still fairly favourable, and hundreds of gorgeous beaches to hang out on, you won't really care. For a change of pace, head up to Franschoek in the Stellenbosch wine region.
Southern India
Relaxing? God no. An experience? Hell yes. Eat fiery fish curries in Kerala, chill out on the beaches of Goa, immerse yourself in the madness of Mumbai. It's worth the cost to get there.
Northern Hemisphere Special!
Oman
Don't feel left out expats - there's no doubt the summer pangs hit when you're stuck in dreary London while you're friends keep writing to you about their new tans. For a short break, head down to Oman - it's not the cheapest, but the people are friendly, and you'll get your beach fix. Oh yeah, and you're earning the pound! You'll be right.
And now, the places to avoid.
Hoi An, Vietnam
You don't need sunscreen at the beach in Hoi An - you need some sort of long pole to poke away the over-enthusiastic hawkers prowling up and down the sand. The beach is strewn with rickety old women selling any old crap they think they can palm off on you - and they won't take no for an answer. You'll find yourself sunbaking to the soothing sounds of, "Banana! Mango! PEEEEEEEANUT!"
Koh Phangan, Thailand
As mentioned previously, unless you want to stay in a heaving s--t-heap, be kept up all night by crappy dance music, and lie on a beach strewn with the drunken debris of the night before (rubbish, humans), Koh Phangan is best avoided.
Sihanoukville, Cambodia
Again, forget the sunscreen at the beach - some sort of mace mightn't be a bad idea. I've heard a few stories of people being mugged on the beach in Sihanoukville, and there's not really much about the place to make it worthwhile risking it.
Gold Coast, Queensland
As someone who grew up in Queensland, I feel qualified to slag off my own territory. Don't believe the hype southerners: the Gold Coast sucks. High rises and bogans do not a "surfer's paradise" make. Go to Byron Bay.
Northern Hemisphere Special!
Scotland
Sorry Scots, but it's bloody freezing up there at the best of times, never mind in the dead of winter. Great beaches, but save it for the summer. Even then, take a coat, just in case.
Where's your favourite summer destination? Where are you heading this year?
Hope you're enjoying the Backpacker blog. There'll be a new one up on smh.com.au every Wednesday, for a bit of light relief to remind you of why you went to work in the first place: to save up enough money to get the hell out of here! If there are any good travel topics you think I've missed, drop me a line at bgroundwater@fairfax.com.au.
Life's a Beach
